这么一回事

不记得自己已经过了多久的假期生活，
好像很久很久了，3-4星期有吗？

这次假期实在是过太长太长了，
我实在很难想象2个月后我要怎么从这种舒适生活抽离。

这是我过得最最最没有羞耻心的假期，
完全没有要找工作的打算，
是说，我一想到要工作就很害怕很爱面子很怕接受挫折。
是怎样，
这不是我啊！
我记得我以前一昧往前冲，是个不怕辛劳只为争一口气的女孩，
果然，
我只能说岁月不留人（众：用错谚语了吧你）
从前的元素，从前的冲劲，都没了，
剩下的，只有“爱面子”元素lol，
大退化一种。

但除了在这里碎碎念我也没什么可以做的了，
但其实是可以做的，但我却不愿意去做。

我也好担心，我到底能不能顺利毕业，毕业后到底能不能找到合心意的工作。
即将面临人生的转折了，
我怎么能继续任性下去，继续过着大小姐的生活，
长大就是这么一回事，又不是不知道，只是一直不愿意面对罢了。

健康

最近健康真的很烂，
虽然没有到达生大病的程度，
但是伤风已经有4-5天了，
而且经常全身乏力又头晕（我是个经常头晕的人，讨厌）
加上我肚子也不舒服了3-4天，
却迟迟没办法上大号。

昨晚一阵阵剧痛终于成功上大号，
大号却是黑色的，
上网查询说有可能肠内出血，
也有可能只是吃太多酸性食物。
（抱歉，在部落格大谈大号好像有点恶心）

反正我到现在肚子还在不舒服就对了。。

可是戒嘴好难噢，我太贪吃了哎。

One Day Outing

ello, since i have nothing to do,
am going to blog about yesterday's outing with the girls.

1st station, we went to Desa Park x Amelio for big breakfast:

Sorry, bad angle and blurry =_= dare not said i learn photography last semester..|||
Btw, the pasta is awesome!

And pizza, and still have chicken chop that I didn't take photo.

Jasmine and Cody geh coffee.

Ya right, camera eat first.

Then we went to the Desa Park high tech playground to play.

That's me.

Sushi.

Sexy Cody.

Siew Ping.

Jasmine, who force by us.
No idea what we are doing xp.

Cody force by us to play this.

I was force to play the high tech super fast slide as well,
but am not going to post the photo xp.


Station 2: Bangsar village
Super far and very hard to find parking urghh.
By the way, we still get to go Wondermama.

Rootbeer Potong that i always crave to have one,
emm, normal only.

Again, camera eat first xp.

We ordered dessert only, the ice kacang taste very awkward for me.

And so this is our unexpected last station,
tapao mille crepe from "Humble Beginning"

Sad worr, because we drive a long way and spent too much time for parking,
so the last station in The Bee in Publika was cancelled t.t
If i knew Wondermama is the last station,
i would have ordered the sandwich or wad.

Then we lost our road back to home lol.
Kelian Jasmine reached home late because of fetching me back plus traffic jam,
hope she will be fine.

Okay, that's it.


有些友谊，好像已经开始变得生疏，
我开始觉得我是否已经，在你们心目中变得不再重要，
我必须承认，我是位很自我又很懒惰维持友谊的人，
从前我从不在乎，这次却变了有点敏感，
我是怎样。我是真的觉得我有初老症状了啦！
为什么我那么敏感-.-

这个假期我只有两个愿望：
1. 不断吃好料直到快乐（自以为很有钱lol）
2. 不要变笨 （很重要）

发型篇

大家好，是时候剪发咯，
这次的模范生是：

鄧鄧，鄧福如

jasmine说我很像她，
嗯。。。
如果我再瘦些啦 TAT
放假了吃东西又很放肆了，啊怎么办。

绑了马尾是不是很活泼呢，但是我担心我头发少刘海不能跟她一样怎么办。
明天该立即行动么？ （我在一小时前才燃起想剪这发型的冲动的）




目前我发型大概是这样（但现在刘海又长咯），没什么型，好几个月没有去发廊剪发，刘海都是自己剪的！@@

这张是sushi拍给她的4potrait assignment啦，我是她其中一个model，嘻嘻。

Five minute

Just a random five minute pure music track,
i found it for my webdesign 2 walkthrough video,
i seldom listen to music, since i went college,
i don't really like music, actually,
it makes me emotional,
i hate the feeling of lossing control of mine (even though i always did lol)

It's depressing.

There're so many things i want to do,
but dare not to do.
Ya, you all are right,
i'm pampered, too much.
Even though i always felt angry if anyone say i'm pampered/don't know anything.
Yeap it's true,
i'm angry,
because i know it's true,
because i'm self-abased,
that's why im angry,
i know it's true,
but i did not make a change,
that's why i'm angry,
because,

I'm angry with myself, that's it.
Satisfied?

Ya right, i'm useless, the youngest, no contribution, ya right, because i'm young, ya, right.


I'm worried.
About my future.
How if i can't earn back what i spent.
How if i can't did a good job.
How if.
How if.
Probably, i'm too confident that i can find a cool job.
Probably, i can't.



Left me alone.

The nightmare

Yeah right, yesterday was my last day of year2sem3 in college,
by right i should be happy i finally made it to sembreak,
although that current morning my car engine have some problem and the parking tiket machine eat up my money and refuse to give me the tiket.
Well, that doesn't matter at all compare to what happened in the night.

Last night happened to be my great nightmare ever,
maybe i'm getting sentimental since i'm getting old or what(seriously),
until now i also cannot overcome my sadness and heaviness in my heart.

My 4yearold dog, Beagle's epilepsy seizure badly in the night,
4times in a night and 2times this morning,
my dad happened to sleep in the living room to accompany her and save her whenever she seizure.
I felt so bad and panic since only my dad know how to save her,
I'm just too coward to hold her when she seizure,
she seems so struggle, out of control and horrible when she seizure,
although i know epilepsy dog seldom gone vicious, they were only frightened and lost their mind,
but i still can't do it.

We had underestimated her epilepsy,
since previously she only happen to seizure when she was excited going outdoor,
but this time, she seizure during her sleeping time, in her deep.sleep.moment,
how ridiculous :( plus, it happens in a row.
Previously she back to normal in a max 2 times of epilepsy seizure,
but now the whole night she was still panic walking around and crying, howling like a wolf :(

Anyway my dad finally sent her to the clinic and she will be staying there for about 2 days until her medicine reached on Thursday.
She must be crying like a baby when we are not around her,
seriously she is a manja baby girl dog who love to stick with family, especially my dad, her owner,
poor thing.

Until now i also haven't visit her in the clinic,
I'm worry and depress and couldn't nap just now,
and i feel sick(crab),
Our whole family need some mental rest,
last night we just can't slept well,
I'm worry and tear a lil bit in my blanket,
woke up at around 4am to pee and accompany her in the living room.

Please, come back healthy, I couldn't stop thinking she should be using her wet nose to touch my hand, walking around, scold by my mom, sleep beside us when we was watching tv.
Now, the house is empty and quiet.

Okay enough, so sentimental now lol.
I just need to keep to myself for sometime, my holiday mood all gone, i've no intend to have outing at all now haih.

Don't tell

Just had a really bad day,
i'm so forgetful,
so stupid,
so inpatient,
so tired,
so stubborn,
so autistic,
so indecisive,
so terrible,






I am just a nothing.
Can't take it anymore.
One more week to go,
i've no motivation,
cause i done a bad work.
....

No one knows, i just don't tell.


.

第四星期

我这两天真是累得快发疯了，
我发现我真的只适合关在房间里对着电脑做事也。
这个semester有photography和video class，
assignment都是要跑到户外不然就是要去找model找演员找地点，
所幸我已经会驾车趴趴走不然我真是大麻烦，
不过驾车真的好累啊，
尤其是对我这个路痴，昨天去cody家拍照就迷路塞车了一个小时多，
拍照了又要上网跟组员们讨论final video的事，画storyboard，
找演员又找到脑袋快爆开，鸭梨很大。。
而且我真的很不适合groupwork啦 :'( 我太blur了都不懂自己要干嘛

这个sem上了4个星期，我的总结感想就是：
dslr aka 摄影，你跟你真的很不熟啦啦啦啦啦，放过我吧吧吧吧

好吧就酱。

Depressing start

New semester starts,
just ended the 1st week,
nothing special,
most of the subjects are new,
argh camera and lightings and videos,
know nothing about it, hopefully i can handle :(

And for webdesign 2, different from webdesign 1,
going for commercial practice,
well i remember i struggle a lot on the redesign website in typo last sem -.-
Some more the final project is redesign website now.

I'm nervous and low confident :(
For these days,
i'm under pressure and i'm like always hungry but i force myself to diet coz i'm fat but i fail lol (very complicated right, i feel complicated! Probably mind blew off or what lol)

Last night i dream of my prefect life in chonghwa,
i miss the times so much and i cried in my sleep -_-"

这个假期

话说下个星期就要开学了啦，
星期三那天终于第二次自己驾车去sunway做student helper,
有RM30可以拿又可以免费在lagoon玩一天，
可惜cody她约了家人所以我们不能在里面玩久点啦，
不过她还是有陪我吃久仰大名的kindori，
hari raya buy 2 free 1 噢

这就是cody，我的照片就免了，在lagoon里流汗我的刘海实在惨不忍睹 /_\

我一个人就吃了两份XD 因为cody她赶时间，
不过我很乐意，grape的口味比较好吃。

是cody的kitty相框，她想说借着那天装可爱一下就拖埋我下水 /_\

在照片里看起来小过我的她。。（实际上她样子也很小）
其实已经21岁了！=_= 看不出吧

然后那天晚上我闲来无事就看youtube学绑hair bun，
我的头发整天绑马尾很闷，很希望可以搞点花样，
加上我怕热，所以hair bun最方便了

虽然很失败XD 我已经用了N片发夹了
第二天再尝试，长得又不一样了，依然是很乱啦

再时光倒流一下（很突然厚）
这个假期当然不能忘记跟好朋友聚会了（huixin去了中国没有跟她合照到 T—T）

好朋友就是，不用用脑也可以聊天聊很开心就是了。

当然不可以忘记，平时跟我一样很懒惰联络，可是一见面依然无所不谈的自拍kaki大马lol（本来想写qinyi可是找来找去都找不到那个yi为什么哈哈）

最后以syok sendiri之自拍来结束这个假期好了

小语：
花钱太夸张了啦，我今年的积蓄从RM1000＋用到现在RM750。。
很心痛lol虽然我也不懂我的钱是存来什么用哈哈，
因为如果买相机以学习用途又买不起也是爸妈缴费，
缴学费也当然缴不起。
太败家了 -.- （良心谴责中）

作品

这个假期到现在都没有好好练习画画，
有点心虚啦，
看到有些同学很上进地在fb上传在假期时的随意画作，
的确是会燃起一点斗志，可是很快地就被惰性熄灭了！=_=
所以剩下的只有一些骸骨之类的。。。（是有没有这么可怕啦）

画银川，mushi她们说嘴巴很大很怪

版本二，可是我还是觉得嘴巴大的比较有特色＝＝

我真是懒到不行，只上了底色跟影子，光线等等都毫无头绪。

原本打算画给要出国的同学们可是觉得很丑就还是算了吧。

这是刚刚画的 -_- 中间的是我自己，旁面的是。。不太像还是别提了lol

上个学期的visual foundimental 一部分功课：
最喜欢这张，是早上的color mood噢

还有final project的，因为是最后一份vf功课所以比较用心，
彩色比较仔细吧。

下个学期开始就没有visual fun这科目了，
这科目主要是电脑彩绘等，其实偏向IL系，
我想我会很想念这科目的
为学校做出来的功课总是会比平常随意画的好，
这是因为平常我都很懒惰做research啦！
一没有人push我就难以做好-_-
我想我真的很欠缺那份设计的热忱lol
这就是无法达到高水准的原因吧，也不知道该怎么办。 



还有这科是digital media，
这学期学会做简单的游戏，开心
第一份功课：fly me to the moon，
其实比较不满意， 别的同学的作品都很好。

Final project,因为不满意上个功课，所以很眼红哈哈，就比较用心一些。

真实版就可以用mouse click来玩的，不过只是很简单的游戏情节啦

还有就是这个做了整个semester，
一直要修改，idea一直被lecturer reject的科目，
Design method 2：

我的题目是"facebook addiction"

只放几张就好了，真实大概是60多张jpg吧 >w<
为了这个科目，同学们都拼了，
presentation前都不睡觉。
（只有我睡lol）



接下来是webdesign，第一次学，
这是final的，共有八个网页。

Typography有很多不同的assignment，随便选一些上传吧。
这是第一份，redesign不好看的网站，我redesign malaysia的ebay,
从原本是这样的，

改去我的版本：

movie poster,老师说很差 T_T 整体很乱，
是我全部assignment中的最低lol
可是我很用心也难过 -_- haih

还有newmedia是final project,
会动的，没有另外save到jpg,所以放一张算了 :p

一直不想上传自己的作品因为很自卑 -_-
今天大概太无聊脑进水lol?（干嘛这样说自己哈哈）

成绩还没有出炉，假期还有一个星期，
继续玩吧（误）哈哈。
这两天看康熙来了看得很开心。