這一夜，
我歇斯底里地哭起來，
想不通自己的愚笨，
想不通自己的價值，
想不通自己的眼紅，
想不通自己的自卑，
想不通自己的興趣，
想不通自己的堅持，
想不通自己的脆弱，
想不通自己的敏感，
想不通自己的疲憊，
想不通自己的擔憂，
想不通悲觀的自己，
想不通的未來。
2013年6月21日星期五
Quiet
Emo max,
i have been going through bad days this year,
try to persuade myself that i have take things too seriously,
it's my bad habit,
i look at things way too serious,
actually the problem is not as serious as i thought,
worried killed.
I change,
i tell no one my true thoughts,
i keep my emotions very deeply as if anyone would look down on me if they knew it.
I'm tired, i hope i could tell someone,
i have been expressing my true feelings so in secondary school time,
i was once so open and i said i didn't secrets,
i said i could share and tell anything, to anyone.
But i CHANGE,
i become so quiet,
some people realize my quietness and wanted me to spoke,
but i don't,
no one successfully helped me,
i have been more and more depress and time passed,
i don't spoke my true self,
in fact,
i don't even know who am i already.
HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO SPOKE MY TRUE FEELINGS WHEN I DON'T EVEN KNOW MY TRUE FEELINGS.
My life have been a mess.
I tried so hard and hope so badly i could grew up, go to college, work.
But now.
Awesome, i'm already in college, and going to interview few weeks later.
But, it's not what i think at all, not at all, i did thought this world way too beautiful, it's not.
Isn't too late to know,
or too early.
I wanted to spoke, but to who, about what, i feel so silly, the biggest enemy is myself.
i have been going through bad days this year,
try to persuade myself that i have take things too seriously,
it's my bad habit,
i look at things way too serious,
actually the problem is not as serious as i thought,
worried killed.
I change,
i tell no one my true thoughts,
i keep my emotions very deeply as if anyone would look down on me if they knew it.
I'm tired, i hope i could tell someone,
i have been expressing my true feelings so in secondary school time,
i was once so open and i said i didn't secrets,
i said i could share and tell anything, to anyone.
But i CHANGE,
i become so quiet,
some people realize my quietness and wanted me to spoke,
but i don't,
no one successfully helped me,
i have been more and more depress and time passed,
i don't spoke my true self,
in fact,
i don't even know who am i already.
HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO SPOKE MY TRUE FEELINGS WHEN I DON'T EVEN KNOW MY TRUE FEELINGS.
My life have been a mess.
I tried so hard and hope so badly i could grew up, go to college, work.
But now.
Awesome, i'm already in college, and going to interview few weeks later.
But, it's not what i think at all, not at all, i did thought this world way too beautiful, it's not.
Isn't too late to know,
or too early.
I wanted to spoke, but to who, about what, i feel so silly, the biggest enemy is myself.
2013年5月16日星期四
2013年5月3日星期五
LIfe
Hi guys my class is starting from Tuesday next week!
(since monday is a holiday)
No feelings at all about the starting of classes,
no hope no thinking no excitement lol (am turn into robot or what)
I not even have feelings towards my holiday -.-
Was sucking dust and mopping floor 6 days a week -.-,
watch "康熙来了","壹天壹苹果" on youtube,
outing with friends and boyfriend,
stay in boyfriend house,
spending money like water,
worry about money lol,
and then nothing -.- lol lol
Okay anyway,
my face condition is bad now, the side of my face is feeling itchy and it's red and rough,
if it maintains like that or it get worst after 1 week i might need to see a doctor -.-
shit my life,
plus, my little myvi was being hit by someone from the back 2days ago,
and i have no idea who hit it and what's happening,
shit x2 my life.
Please turn from bad to good, Please.
(since monday is a holiday)
No feelings at all about the starting of classes,
no hope no thinking no excitement lol (am turn into robot or what)
I not even have feelings towards my holiday -.-
Was sucking dust and mopping floor 6 days a week -.-,
watch "康熙来了","壹天壹苹果" on youtube,
outing with friends and boyfriend,
stay in boyfriend house,
spending money like water,
worry about money lol,
and then nothing -.- lol lol
Okay anyway,
my face condition is bad now, the side of my face is feeling itchy and it's red and rough,
if it maintains like that or it get worst after 1 week i might need to see a doctor -.-
shit my life,
plus, my little myvi was being hit by someone from the back 2days ago,
and i have no idea who hit it and what's happening,
shit x2 my life.
Please turn from bad to good, Please.
2013年2月2日星期六
何必
昨天车祸了，是我去撞别人的车尾。
难以抹杀的阴影。
其实车祸前几乎整个星期都心情不好，
搞不好自己为什么心情不好，很压抑，
车祸前一天才惹了老师生气，
因为，功课做不好，已经重做了几遍却还是没做好，
虽然老师没有怪我还努力想办法替我收拾惨剧，
但是我很自责，
我怪我自己是不是智商不好，
都没做好，
怪我自己不如别人，
常常被认为是个迷糊的笨蛋，
怪我自己是不是不够努力，一切都是咎由自取的，
因为惰性，因为大小姐个性。
常常用自己还年轻不如别人没关系来安慰自己，
因为，身边很多同学年级都比我大，家人也是，
正因为如此，大家都似乎那么完美，
那么成熟，那么理性，那么令人羡慕，
别人想到的点子，我没想到，
别人作品的细腻，我粗糙，
我努力前进希望自己不跟别人距离那么远，
却还是不足，还是觉得自己不够好，可以更好，想做最好，
我承认是我贪心，没那么大个头硬是想戴大帽子，
越是想说服自己满足于现状，越是觉得自己很差劲，
压力很大，不曾对人叙述，
因为，觉得别人会觉得我贪心，
觉得我无中生有，连我自己都觉得，
哪像中学一个星期有4天都在谈心，有的没的，
想起都觉得自己当时怎么那么多愁善感。
我想我现在还是，只是，不再表达了，
爱面子了，隐藏了，
很多话，我不说，闷在心里，
仿佛说出了会显得我的不成熟，显得我的懦弱。
我假装坚强，然后爆发，
然后我问自己，
何必。
难以抹杀的阴影。
其实车祸前几乎整个星期都心情不好，
搞不好自己为什么心情不好，很压抑，
车祸前一天才惹了老师生气，
因为，功课做不好，已经重做了几遍却还是没做好，
虽然老师没有怪我还努力想办法替我收拾惨剧，
但是我很自责，
我怪我自己是不是智商不好，
都没做好，
怪我自己不如别人，
常常被认为是个迷糊的笨蛋，
怪我自己是不是不够努力，一切都是咎由自取的，
因为惰性，因为大小姐个性。
常常用自己还年轻不如别人没关系来安慰自己，
因为，身边很多同学年级都比我大，家人也是，
正因为如此，大家都似乎那么完美，
那么成熟，那么理性，那么令人羡慕，
别人想到的点子，我没想到，
别人作品的细腻，我粗糙，
我努力前进希望自己不跟别人距离那么远，
却还是不足，还是觉得自己不够好，可以更好，想做最好，
我承认是我贪心，没那么大个头硬是想戴大帽子，
越是想说服自己满足于现状，越是觉得自己很差劲，
压力很大，不曾对人叙述，
因为，觉得别人会觉得我贪心，
觉得我无中生有，连我自己都觉得，
哪像中学一个星期有4天都在谈心，有的没的，
想起都觉得自己当时怎么那么多愁善感。
我想我现在还是，只是，不再表达了，
爱面子了，隐藏了，
很多话，我不说，闷在心里，
仿佛说出了会显得我的不成熟，显得我的懦弱。
我假装坚强，然后爆发，
然后我问自己，
何必。
2013年1月25日星期五
胡说
上次写部落格竟然是11月的事。。现在已经是2013年1月26日了呀。
隔了那么久又回来写部落格的原因是，
是的，我又一抹了lol
这个sem刚开学时cody送我一条有雨伞设计的手链，
她说原因是她觉得我经常很难过的样子，
所以要送我雨伞代表替我遮风遮雨，
啊我承认我是太情绪化太在意很多事情太给自己鸭梨，
才会经常搞得两头不到岸又难过的下场:(
希望我可以看开一点吧，
人就是这样，
心房就是要靠自己打开，
你自己不开，没有人可以帮得了你。
算了不说一抹了，
下个星期一洗牙，星期二染头发，
希望染了会变漂亮，期待。
我想对自己说：
别再跟别人比，别再钻牛角尖，
你应该知道什么才是生活最重要的事，
别为小事伤脑筋，
快乐点吧看开点吧，没心没肺地过下去吧。
隔了那么久又回来写部落格的原因是，
是的，我又一抹了lol
这个sem刚开学时cody送我一条有雨伞设计的手链，
她说原因是她觉得我经常很难过的样子，
所以要送我雨伞代表替我遮风遮雨，
啊我承认我是太情绪化太在意很多事情太给自己鸭梨，
才会经常搞得两头不到岸又难过的下场:(
希望我可以看开一点吧，
人就是这样，
心房就是要靠自己打开，
你自己不开，没有人可以帮得了你。
算了不说一抹了，
下个星期一洗牙，星期二染头发，
希望染了会变漂亮，期待。
我想对自己说：
别再跟别人比，别再钻牛角尖，
你应该知道什么才是生活最重要的事，
别为小事伤脑筋，
快乐点吧看开点吧，没心没肺地过下去吧。
2012年10月30日星期二
The nightmare
Yeah right, yesterday was my last day of year2sem3 in college,
by right i should be happy i finally made it to sembreak,
although that current morning my car engine have some problem and the parking tiket machine eat up my money and refuse to give me the tiket.
Well, that doesn't matter at all compare to what happened in the night.
Last night happened to be my great nightmare ever,
maybe i'm getting sentimental since i'm getting old or what(seriously),
until now i also cannot overcome my sadness and heaviness in my heart.
My 4yearold dog, Beagle's epilepsy seizure badly in the night,
4times in a night and 2times this morning,
my dad happened to sleep in the living room to accompany her and save her whenever she seizure.
I felt so bad and panic since only my dad know how to save her,
I'm just too coward to hold her when she seizure,
she seems so struggle, out of control and horrible when she seizure,
although i know epilepsy dog seldom gone vicious, they were only frightened and lost their mind,
but i still can't do it.
We had underestimated her epilepsy,
since previously she only happen to seizure when she was excited going outdoor,
but this time, she seizure during her sleeping time, in her deep.sleep.moment,
how ridiculous :( plus, it happens in a row.
Previously she back to normal in a max 2 times of epilepsy seizure,
but now the whole night she was still panic walking around and crying, howling like a wolf :(
Anyway my dad finally sent her to the clinic and she will be staying there for about 2 days until her medicine reached on Thursday.
She must be crying like a baby when we are not around her,
seriously she is a manja baby girl dog who love to stick with family, especially my dad, her owner,
poor thing.
Until now i also haven't visit her in the clinic,
I'm worry and depress and couldn't nap just now,
and i feel sick(crab),
Our whole family need some mental rest,
last night we just can't slept well,
I'm worry and tear a lil bit in my blanket,
woke up at around 4am to pee and accompany her in the living room.
Please, come back healthy, I couldn't stop thinking she should be using her wet nose to touch my hand, walking around, scold by my mom, sleep beside us when we was watching tv.
Now, the house is empty and quiet.
Okay enough, so sentimental now lol.
I just need to keep to myself for sometime, my holiday mood all gone, i've no intend to have outing at all now haih.
by right i should be happy i finally made it to sembreak,
although that current morning my car engine have some problem and the parking tiket machine eat up my money and refuse to give me the tiket.
Well, that doesn't matter at all compare to what happened in the night.
Last night happened to be my great nightmare ever,
maybe i'm getting sentimental since i'm getting old or what(seriously),
until now i also cannot overcome my sadness and heaviness in my heart.
My 4yearold dog, Beagle's epilepsy seizure badly in the night,
4times in a night and 2times this morning,
my dad happened to sleep in the living room to accompany her and save her whenever she seizure.
I felt so bad and panic since only my dad know how to save her,
I'm just too coward to hold her when she seizure,
she seems so struggle, out of control and horrible when she seizure,
although i know epilepsy dog seldom gone vicious, they were only frightened and lost their mind,
but i still can't do it.
We had underestimated her epilepsy,
since previously she only happen to seizure when she was excited going outdoor,
but this time, she seizure during her sleeping time, in her deep.sleep.moment,
how ridiculous :( plus, it happens in a row.
Previously she back to normal in a max 2 times of epilepsy seizure,
but now the whole night she was still panic walking around and crying, howling like a wolf :(
Anyway my dad finally sent her to the clinic and she will be staying there for about 2 days until her medicine reached on Thursday.
She must be crying like a baby when we are not around her,
seriously she is a manja baby girl dog who love to stick with family, especially my dad, her owner,
poor thing.
Until now i also haven't visit her in the clinic,
I'm worry and depress and couldn't nap just now,
and i feel sick(crab),
Our whole family need some mental rest,
last night we just can't slept well,
I'm worry and tear a lil bit in my blanket,
woke up at around 4am to pee and accompany her in the living room.
Please, come back healthy, I couldn't stop thinking she should be using her wet nose to touch my hand, walking around, scold by my mom, sleep beside us when we was watching tv.
Now, the house is empty and quiet.
Okay enough, so sentimental now lol.
I just need to keep to myself for sometime, my holiday mood all gone, i've no intend to have outing at all now haih.
2012年10月19日星期五
Don't tell
Just had a really bad day,
i'm so forgetful,
so stupid,
so inpatient,
so tired,
so stubborn,
so autistic,
so indecisive,
so terrible,
I am just a nothing.
Can't take it anymore.
One more week to go,
i've no motivation,
cause i done a bad work.
....
No one knows, i just don't tell.
.
i'm so forgetful,
so stupid,
so inpatient,
so tired,
so stubborn,
so autistic,
so indecisive,
so terrible,
I am just a nothing.
Can't take it anymore.
One more week to go,
i've no motivation,
cause i done a bad work.
....
.
2012年9月27日星期四
第四星期
我这两天真是累得快发疯了，
我发现我真的只适合关在房间里对着电脑做事也。
这个semester有photography和video class，
assignment都是要跑到户外不然就是要去找model找演员找地点，
所幸我已经会驾车趴趴走不然我真是大麻烦，
不过驾车真的好累啊，
尤其是对我这个路痴，昨天去cody家拍照就迷路塞车了一个小时多，
拍照了又要上网跟组员们讨论final video的事，画storyboard，
找演员又找到脑袋快爆开，鸭梨很大。。
而且我真的很不适合groupwork啦 :'( 我太blur了都不懂自己要干嘛
这个sem上了4个星期，我的总结感想就是：
dslr aka 摄影，你跟你真的很不熟啦啦啦啦啦，放过我吧吧吧吧
好吧就酱。
我发现我真的只适合关在房间里对着电脑做事也。
这个semester有photography和video class，
assignment都是要跑到户外不然就是要去找model找演员找地点，
所幸我已经会驾车趴趴走不然我真是大麻烦，
不过驾车真的好累啊，
尤其是对我这个路痴，昨天去cody家拍照就迷路塞车了一个小时多，
拍照了又要上网跟组员们讨论final video的事，画storyboard，
找演员又找到脑袋快爆开，鸭梨很大。。
而且我真的很不适合groupwork啦 :'( 我太blur了都不懂自己要干嘛
这个sem上了4个星期，我的总结感想就是：
dslr aka 摄影，你跟你真的很不熟啦啦啦啦啦，放过我吧吧吧吧
好吧就酱。
2012年4月22日星期日
please shut up
sometimes i don't wish to have brothers that elder than me so much.
we don't argue, we don't fight, we seldom talked.
i am so used to be a loner,
in home, in school, in everywhere,
i am too used to be a loner.
i does try to change myself to a more social person,
but then i try and reverse, reverse and try,
and now i'm pretty sure than i've give up trying.
i am satisfy with myself,
still a loner, but not as loner as last time.
please don't judge anyone, you don't know how much effort the people put on.
please don't judge anyone, just because the person is different from you.
please don't judge anyone, you should understand that the people had tried hard enough.
please don't judge anyone, you are not any better.
please don't judge anyone, mind your own business.
no one understand, or maybe i don't deserve anyone to understand, maybe i am wrong, so what, stop saying i am wrong, stop judging i am wrong, how much you know about me, no one knows another person well, please don't judge, and stop the gossip as well.
i don't want to hear anyone tell me i am wrong anymore, i am wrong enough, shut up.
2012年4月7日星期六
That's all
I'm getting a lil bit too emotional recently.
I'm so abnormal.
I've so many work to do yet i chose to drag it.
I'm so busy yet i chose to entertain.
I thought entertain could make me happy but seems like it did not.
I didn't know what could make me happy actually.
It's been quite a while i didn't feel this hopeless.
There are so many things i didn't know.
There are so many things i didn't realize.
There are so many things i couldn't handle.
That's all.
okay enough, I'm feeling better after typing all these.
I'm so abnormal.
I've so many work to do yet i chose to drag it.
I'm so busy yet i chose to entertain.
I thought entertain could make me happy but seems like it did not.
I didn't know what could make me happy actually.
It's been quite a while i didn't feel this hopeless.
There are so many things i didn't know.
There are so many things i didn't realize.
There are so many things i couldn't handle.
That's all.
okay enough, I'm feeling better after typing all these.
2012年3月22日星期四
weirdo
once again, it's like thousand years i nvr blog,
bf say my blog is like all negative thing,
the reason is,
i nvr blog happy thing bcoz i'm happy to live reality and need not to rely on blog >-<
blog is my trash bin!
So if anyone out there saw my blog(coz like no ppl ever read tis blog ahaha)
pls dun missunderstood why am i so miserable huh~ >v<
kinda hopeless,
i dun knw how to say,
i juz feel tired,
ntg good to say,
maybe im a terrible person,
but i hav no cure on my terrribleness.
wondering if someone really think im great.
or maybe no.
im bad, ego and seldom care my frens,
wondering if my frens still think that im their fren :(
im too busy.
(lol this blog post swing here and there and the sentence all non-relatent to each other -_-)
im a weirdo.
(swing again)
bf say my blog is like all negative thing,
the reason is,
i nvr blog happy thing bcoz i'm happy to live reality and need not to rely on blog >-<
blog is my trash bin!
So if anyone out there saw my blog(coz like no ppl ever read tis blog ahaha)
pls dun missunderstood why am i so miserable huh~ >v<
kinda hopeless,
i dun knw how to say,
i juz feel tired,
ntg good to say,
maybe im a terrible person,
but i hav no cure on my terrribleness.
wondering if someone really think im great.
or maybe no.
im bad, ego and seldom care my frens,
wondering if my frens still think that im their fren :(
im too busy.
(lol this blog post swing here and there and the sentence all non-relatent to each other -_-)
im a weirdo.
(swing again)
2012年3月2日星期五
pissed post
well i've been super pissed off since wednesday, idky
i've to admit tat i even throw things in my room on thursday night lol
(not that serious as you thought -.- it juz last for few seconds)
i've been put way too much pressure on myself, seriously,
rationally think, actually my result seems to remain the same standard,
but i just DON'T KNOW WHY thought that i'm weak and useless#crap
some negative energy cloud just seems to randomly fall on my head -.-
it's too much, i've to stop my pissed off, it's useless to be pissed, it's sinful.
weak than others so what, untalented so what, not improve much so what.
i just hafta get used to everything.
sembreak where are you, i need some silent space,
i want to put more focus on my God, but my mind are all stucked.
-.- don't ask me what happen, i'll not answer -.-
my reason is just plainly mouliu.
btw i'm escaping from ma work a lil bit to post this pissed post lol,
tis is the work im currently doing,(just feel like posting)
Now imma doing this, you cannot imagine it took how much time -.-
i still have about 11more scene to go#crap
bf sometimes say i've been complaining too much,
but if i don't say out you want me die of pissed off meh.
-.-
i've to admit tat i even throw things in my room on thursday night lol
(not that serious as you thought -.- it juz last for few seconds)
i've been put way too much pressure on myself, seriously,
rationally think, actually my result seems to remain the same standard,
but i just DON'T KNOW WHY thought that i'm weak and useless#crap
some negative energy cloud just seems to randomly fall on my head -.-
it's too much, i've to stop my pissed off, it's useless to be pissed, it's sinful.
weak than others so what, untalented so what, not improve much so what.
i just hafta get used to everything.
sembreak where are you, i need some silent space,
i want to put more focus on my God, but my mind are all stucked.
-.- don't ask me what happen, i'll not answer -.-
my reason is just plainly mouliu.
btw i'm escaping from ma work a lil bit to post this pissed post lol,
tis is the work im currently doing,(just feel like posting)
Now imma doing this, you cannot imagine it took how much time -.-
i still have about 11more scene to go#crap
bf sometimes say i've been complaining too much,
but if i don't say out you want me die of pissed off meh.
-.-
2012年2月1日星期三
2012年1月22日星期日
新年快乐之怨念
大家新年好～看上面的照片是不是觉得我瘦了很多leh???（众：神经）
是真的，去年年中后我体重莫名地掉了一公斤（我真的觉得是莫名的。。）
然后开学了2个星期后我又掉了一公斤啊！！
虽然轻了但其实我很心酸 T_T
难道是我做功课做到太辛苦了。
尽量避免自己埋怨，但是总还是忍不住说，对不起啊圣灵：（
压力很大，或许是自己给自己的。
读了一年design我怨自己为什么依然那么没有art sense，
学了技巧又不懂得应用 :(
我最近一直睡来睡去都不够睡，早上九点多就会自动醒（太浅眠了）
然后我的鼻子敏感越来越严重了！
每天至少哈qiu10次了我猜，尤其是早上，有时我还是被自己的哈qiu惊醒的－_－
昨天在教堂站着唱歌还很头晕，
开学两个星期我好像辛苦两个月酱lol我太夸张了。
讲不埋怨我还是说了那么多话lol我真的不知道自己在搞什么，
i can't think straight at all, like seriously.
2011年11月25日星期五
2011年11月1日星期二
2011年9月19日星期一
叽哩咕噜
开学进入第三个星期，
我在班上自闭了一个星期半，
我不知道为什么:(
开学几天后我开始觉得很不好意思，
也没有刚开学时那么努力去mix人，
然后我就觉得很寂寞，根本是自己拿来衰。
我真的很不喜欢去mix那些本来就在gang里的人，
我会觉得自己很莫名其妙和多余。
我跟班上一个黑皮肤外国人一样，我们都一个人，
然后很像工作狂酱只懂死命做功课，都不social的:(
然后昨天大哥突然给我一个part time job，enter data，
就是将form里的人名，ic号码，电话号码，email address等打进电脑，
昨天晚上我做到快疯掉，
11点收到form，做到3点多才睡觉，
而且才做了不到一半，打句子比较厉害，
我最顶不顺打数字的啦啦啦啦啦啦啦，
而且很赶，明天早上就要交了，我才发现自己慢到像乌龟酱，
今天早上有class，老师check我们做的icon，
我都不懂要怎样去改我的icon，虽然我知道做到很丑可是很无奈，
所以等老师期间我就继续博命打那些变态entry，
然后老师发现了很不爽讲我作么带来班上做 D;
我也很无奈，不在班上做我就没有时间做了，
所以我还是不后悔作么我带去班上做，
我只是后悔为什么不要小心一点结果给老师发现 囧（执迷不悟）
然后已经预料到对我icon的comment会很难听，
我自己也知道做到很丑，可是已经尽力了，就是要需要老师提点，
忠言逆耳 D; 当然多少会有点emo，但是没有办法。
然后昨天跟二哥女朋友聊天，
原来我大哥曾经割脉，喝到烂醉，二哥也曾经堕落这样，
我才发现到我们家的人都很emo，应该是spiritual因素，
所以我那么悲观也不是没有原因，
现在已经好很多了，我可以稍微控制自己的情绪，
以前也是会经常想到要自杀难过到想死的念头，
（而且我当时还以为很正常＝＝以为全部人多少会有自杀念头，过后才发现不是的，根本是我自己有问题）
于是我就想起我以前每次emo的时候都会写部落格，
（而且都写的文绉绉的＝＝）
也很感谢我三位认识6年的好朋友每次都会听我讲心事等，
虽然经常会觉得妈妈一点也不了解但其实也很疼我，什么都跟我准备好好，
最重要当然是有holy spirit支持我，
用truth释放我和给我在教堂哭，然后我就会很庆幸自己不是一个人，
而是有不放弃我和给我很多机会的神一直在。
现在我的哥哥们已经度过那段堕落的日子，
by grace也变比较可以控制自己的情绪这样。
活到第18年，如今得知到有自残／自杀的人已经有3－4位这样，
（包括2位是我一直有追看她们blog的blogger）
不应该自杀啊，自杀的人会下地狱噢，
那后辈子不是更痛苦，这也是我之前再灰也不下手的原因。
我才发现到人类的脆弱与这个世界的丑陋:(
所以为什么要爱世界呢，这个世界假装美丽的那面原来都是幻觉，
还是理智点多爱圣灵吧。
零零碎碎打了很多字＝＝
可能是因为这阵子我很少说话，很多想法都收在心里不说，
貌似失去表达能力，连写blog也不懂怎样写，
所以这篇文章很白话，但是不重要啦，
我无非是想发泄一下，
话说我还没有打完那个enter data＝＝
也有天杀多工的功课一直在轰炸我，
我要发泄泄泄泄泄泄泄泄泄泄泄泄泄泄泄。
－做enter data去－
2011年7月10日星期日
stuck
Well, after attending church on friday my temper seems to get in control+apology from timgaizok :D
Btw, actually i'm still stuck in sadness, have no idea why,
have been thinking plenty of reason,
1, self pity by my flu and cough
2, seriously need holidays
My holiday doesn't mean stuck at home,
I'm already stuck at home for days, beside go college+buy bread from king(opposite my house)+buy bread from tesco(lol, always muz use buy bread as excuse to go out, still super near from my home)+go church
I can sense my soul dying in this house..
I should admit that my parents doesn't seems like to have outings anymore, they love to stay at home? 囧 (due to old age maybe, they want to rest..) and i become like a burden always wanting to get out,(and use buy bread as excuse, lol)
My secondary school buddies need to study, time not match..no ppl accompany me at all..
I'm feel so alone every single day staying at home kacao-ing my dog, with my dad reading newspaper beside as the scene..|||
D;
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Btw, actually i'm still stuck in sadness, have no idea why,
have been thinking plenty of reason,
1, self pity by my flu and cough
2, seriously need holidays
My holiday doesn't mean stuck at home,
I'm already stuck at home for days, beside go college+buy bread from king(opposite my house)+buy bread from tesco(lol, always muz use buy bread as excuse to go out, still super near from my home)+go church
I can sense my soul dying in this house..
I should admit that my parents doesn't seems like to have outings anymore, they love to stay at home? 囧 (due to old age maybe, they want to rest..) and i become like a burden always wanting to get out,(and use buy bread as excuse, lol)
My secondary school buddies need to study, time not match..no ppl accompany me at all..
I'm feel so alone every single day staying at home kacao-ing my dog, with my dad reading newspaper beside as the scene..|||
D;
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