The nightmare

Yeah right, yesterday was my last day of year2sem3 in college,
by right i should be happy i finally made it to sembreak,
although that current morning my car engine have some problem and the parking tiket machine eat up my money and refuse to give me the tiket.
Well, that doesn't matter at all compare to what happened in the night.

Last night happened to be my great nightmare ever,
maybe i'm getting sentimental since i'm getting old or what(seriously),
until now i also cannot overcome my sadness and heaviness in my heart.

My 4yearold dog, Beagle's epilepsy seizure badly in the night,
4times in a night and 2times this morning,
my dad happened to sleep in the living room to accompany her and save her whenever she seizure.
I felt so bad and panic since only my dad know how to save her,
I'm just too coward to hold her when she seizure,
she seems so struggle, out of control and horrible when she seizure,
although i know epilepsy dog seldom gone vicious, they were only frightened and lost their mind,
but i still can't do it.

We had underestimated her epilepsy,
since previously she only happen to seizure when she was excited going outdoor,
but this time, she seizure during her sleeping time, in her deep.sleep.moment,
how ridiculous :( plus, it happens in a row.
Previously she back to normal in a max 2 times of epilepsy seizure,
but now the whole night she was still panic walking around and crying, howling like a wolf :(

Anyway my dad finally sent her to the clinic and she will be staying there for about 2 days until her medicine reached on Thursday.
She must be crying like a baby when we are not around her,
seriously she is a manja baby girl dog who love to stick with family, especially my dad, her owner,
poor thing.

Until now i also haven't visit her in the clinic,
I'm worry and depress and couldn't nap just now,
and i feel sick(crab),
Our whole family need some mental rest,
last night we just can't slept well,
I'm worry and tear a lil bit in my blanket,
woke up at around 4am to pee and accompany her in the living room.

Please, come back healthy, I couldn't stop thinking she should be using her wet nose to touch my hand, walking around, scold by my mom, sleep beside us when we was watching tv.
Now, the house is empty and quiet.

Okay enough, so sentimental now lol.
I just need to keep to myself for sometime, my holiday mood all gone, i've no intend to have outing at all now haih.

Don't tell

Just had a really bad day,
i'm so forgetful,
so stupid,
so inpatient,
so tired,
so stubborn,
so autistic,
so indecisive,
so terrible,






I am just a nothing.
Can't take it anymore.
One more week to go,
i've no motivation,
cause i done a bad work.
....

No one knows, i just don't tell.


.